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Hang onto that oncologist! The type of partnership you describe is so important.
The chances of success with a transplant are indeed grim but 20% is an older statistic based on full transplants. The success rates of matched unrelated donor mini-transplants in 2011 are likely to be better. If you ask the AA&MDSIF or your mom's doctor about it, it's the current data for nonmyeloablative transplants that's relevant. Of course she'd need to find a matched unrelated donor, but they sometimes find matches on the first try. You never know until you look. The National Marrow Donor Program found a perfectly matched stranger for my wife's transplant; not everybody is that lucky. In any case, as a layperson I'm not doubting the doctor's advice, or promoting one treatment over another, just suggesting that you ask questions that will give you the big picture.
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