Thanks for the great suggestions, Neil. I knew to ask about the caregiver as my mom had cared for my father who died of colon cancer 7 years ago. So whenever I talked to her, I would always ask about her first.
But when my husband got diagnosed, I hit the ground running and started doing everything! I knew that I was going to get burned out but I continued. Sure enough I developed a respiratory infection. Just about the LAST thing that my husband needed at the time! Needless to say I isolated myself from him and cared at a distance. But I learned a very important lesson. You do have to take care of yourself or else you are no help to the patient.
I knew that in my head but not my heart. I am sure that we all go through that. Maybe your words can help someone avoid this.
Deb
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