[Marcus]

I was diagnosed with MDS a couple of weeks ago. Mentally I'm completely fine and not fine at the same time. I'm very low risk at the moment so I'm embarrassed to be sounding worried when so many people on this site have more advanced conditions. I'm not sure what to do. I don't need any treatment yet but MDS is on my mind 75% of the time. My wife who I love very much, is 18 weeks pregnant and I don't want to tell her. In fact, I don't want to tell anyone, because I don't want to be treated differently, or with pity.

I meeting my brother tomorrow evening for a beer and have to ask him if he will have a bone marrow test to see if he might be a suitable donor. The risk of him being suitable is only 30% and because I'm a crazy mixture of races, the chances of finding a match on a register is low. I'm not sure how he will cope with the news.

I've read everything I can find on the web and am slightly obsessing with survival rates. In fact, I think I may be in slight shock at the moment. I have a great life and everything is going really well, apart from this disease.

Not telling anyone is difficult. I think that's why I'm writing this.