[mannythedog]

Hello all,

I have a few questions to the care givers. I don't field this question to the patients, because I don't want to put anyone on the spot. O.k. I'll cut to the chase.

My father is getting much worse, and has barley been making his weeklies, as far as strength and "head issues" go. {head issues are tiredness, swimmy feelings and lack of concentration} He gets his Blood and Platelets, usually on Wednesday. By Saturday the problem starts. My father has become verbally abusive. He has never been that way in the past, but I have seen the personality change over the past few months. It just got worse over the last few weeks. I called him on it, and he said it was due to his needing blood products, and it was hard to manage his emotions. On the flip side, he feels he can still drive when having this, issue. My mother will not confront him on the driving issue, for she does not want the verbal back lash.

My wife went to see her doctor yesterday, also his doctor, and she discussed this with him. He said there was nothing he could do, but would call Katie at the clinic so she could talk w/ him today. {he will be a captive audience for about 9 hours} He driving has gotten bad enough that he has knocked over the driveway stones along the gutter. [I know that does not sound like a big deal, but these are Pop's stones, and it really bugs him when people hit them} I called him on it, and he said my sister did it. {my sister was in the car w/ him and mom when it happened} My mother told me, because she did not want to be yelled at. She does not want to remember her last days with pop as being abused, so she tells me.

Pop does not yell at me, but gets that "leave it alone" look. I do feel that mom gets it when I leave, even after I drill him on leaving her out of it.

I guess that walking on egg shells is not going to work. My wife found alternate afternoon care for Belle if she knows they may drive somewhere. He always drives. I guarantee he will drive this morning to the hospital, and not use a wheel chair.

I understand this is it. This is his LAST freedom, driving mom to the store, driving to the doctors. I don't understand why the Doctor can't enforce a no drive rule. He had admitted that pop says he is feeling fine, and the Dr. knows otherwise. Any suggestions would help. I really don't want my father upset at me for the rest of his time here, but I could never live with myself if he injured or killed my mother or someone else with the car.

Sorry for the downer, but for those that have been there, I could use some suggestions other than my idea. Take the bull by the horns approach. I guess I don't want to be the bad guy. Wimp. If I need to step up, I will, but I am afraid I would be resented.

Scott

Son Of Bob