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Birgitta, while I'm sad that you feel as tired as I do it's also comforting to know that someone out there also understands.
I spoke to my physician about stopping treatment and why and he agreed that I've been fighting a battle for some time and understood my need to stay away from all things medical even if the outcome is my death. I also spoke to my psychiatrist and he agreed that, for me, there was no light at the end of the tunnel.....it was going to be endless treatment, more often, with less efficacy into the future. He also agreed with my plan to stop treatment but made it clear that I should restart treatment at any time if I wanted to. He said that perhaps I will feel differently after a break and ready to face the battle again....at this stage I'll leave my options open. I'm afraid of feeling sick and having pain, not of dying. Im not cherishing every day I have but rather wishing every day away. maybe I'm just depressed.
I should be able to go on the cruise (if my friend can still go) but I think that after that I will start feeling the effects of missing the treatment.
Enjoy your tea with your daughter and grand daughter....
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