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So sorry that you are feeling 'down' Chirley. It's completely understandable with all you have had to deal with.
Do you think that even if you only give yourself a short break - say a month (or even shorter) at a time without treatment - it might give you time to come to a wise conclusion? I realise that my situation is by no means as serious as yours, but a year or so ago my haematologist recommended I try a 3 month break from the IgG infusions. 3 months turned out to be too long, but I managed 2 months and it was lovely not to have to go and have the cannula inserted, etc.
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Dx MDS RAEB 10% blasts + hypogammaglobulinemia, Sep 2011. Jan 2012 BMB - blasts down to 2% w/out treatment so BMT cancelled. Re-diagnosis RCMD. Watch and wait from Feb 2012. IVIg 5-weekly. New diagnosis Oct 2019 AML 23% blasts in marrow, 10% blasts in peripheral blood.
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